Tuesday

Live Painting

So Banjo had a live painting gig on Saturday afternoon, as part of the "entertainment" section of a large North Portland bloc party called the "Proper Festival." It had something to do with at risk youths, but when prodded and probed by Banjo for information, folks couldn't seem to give the ol' boy an explanation, nor what "Proper" stood for, as it was supposedly and acronym. It was really hot all day and there was no alcohol to be found so this put Banjo in a funk. Anyways, so a bunch of us "Artists", propped our recycled doors up on a fence for some sort of sports oriented field and slung around a bunch of colors. Some of them looked like this:





This was the crowd favorite:


Throughout the day, as one might expect, there was a plethora of children. Many of them wanted to paint on doors themselves, which was highly encouraged and highly entertaining as many of the kids decided it was more fun to paint each other, the grass, or their parents. Some, however, wanted other people to paint doors for them.
Banjo had a conversation with a little boy, his name was Marvin or Melvin or Mervin or something, that went like this:

M: can I paint a door?
B: sure, just ask that nice lady over there, she has everything...
M: i want to paint Obama on it and give it to my grandma
B: i hope she likes Obama
M: she does, she wants to marry him
B: me too
M: what?
B: nothing, that's pretty cool, man, good luck
M: will you help me?
B: uh...sure, what'cha need?
M: i want to write OBAMA in big letters
B: that's it?
M: yeah...but do it with your spray paint
B: wait, you want ME to write it?
M: yeah, i can't use spray paint
B: ah, ok, so just a big Obama written on the door?
M: yeah...
B: ok, let's get a door
M: and then like a bunch of little Obama's written all over too
B: um...why can't you do that part?
M: it's gotta be done with spray paint, duh...
B: silly me
M: so can you do it?
B: yeah...i'll help get you started
M: ok, do like the big Obama and all the little ones
B: wait...
M: and then do like, his face...
B: you want me to paint his face on there too?
M: but it's gotta look real...like him...
B: some people wish that he wasn't real
M: they crazy
B: i know, right?
M: so you'll paint his face?
B: um...so lemme get this straight, you want me to write Obama real big, like the size of the door, and then write a bunch of littler Obama's all around, and then paint a life like portrait of him?
M: and a flag
B: what are you gonna do to it if i'm doing all the rest?
M: give it to my grandma
B: this deal is getting worse and worse, kid
M: but she loves Obama and i wanna give her something with him on it that i did
B: i'm still unsure of what you're actually contributing to this potential piece of art
M: i'm gonna give it to her...and sign my name
B: who're you, andy warhol?
M: who's that?
B: an artist who made a lot of money by telling a lot of people to paint a lot of pictures of soup cans and shit, and then he told everyone he painted them.
M: that sounds lame
B: it kinda was...but he was mad popular, hung out with hot girls, and awesome rock bands
M: i bet they wasn't that hot, if they liked pictures of soup
B: good call
M: so you not gonna paint this door for me?
B: i'll help you, but i won't do it for you. don't you want that satisfaction of doing it yourself and then giving it to your grandma and saying, "i did this for you"?
M: i guess...
B: besides, i still have to finish my door
M: you painted that? [see below]
B: it's not done, but i don't think i want to finish it, i think it kinda sucks
M: man, that's awesome, that purple ghost is fly, and that bomb is cool...is he dreaming or something?
B: uh, yeah actually, he's thinking or dreaming about the book he's reading
M: that's real cool, i like it
B: thanks, i dunno how to finish it though, i was thinking of writing a bunch of text over it
M: like what?
B: ...the specters of the past were buried in the sands of the arabian peninsula. or something like that
M: you sound smart
B: Extremely, cept i can't spell for shit...
M: i can't spell real good either
B: we should be friends then
M: maybe, you gonna paint obama for me?
B: probably not
M: oh...i'm gonna go ask someone else then

That old bastard 'spelling' reared it's ugly head again as Banjo misspelled 'specter' on the fucking thing. Feeling frustrated already and not really wanting to have to go back and correct, he just slapped some paint over it (not pictured) and called it a day. In the end Banjo was mildly satisfied, but more interested in finding a gin and tonic. The door got donated to a local non profit cafe...


Later, it was called the "crowed antagonizer"...

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